


Some Questions

by ALargeBear



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALargeBear/pseuds/ALargeBear
Summary: Honoka asks Umi a few questions about love. Umi isn't sure what to make of it.





	

It didn't take a mind-reader to understand that Honoka had been holding in some sort of question. The rapping of her knuckles against the table, the quick glances up from her notebook, and the complete lack of focus on the work before her had told Umi everything she needed to know. This supposed study session wasn't going anywhere productive any time soon.

"Hey, Umi?"

"Yes, Honoka," Umi said, setting her book down onto the table and turning to Honoka who sat in the seat to her side. The club room was empty and Honoka seemed enthusiastic, so she would indulge her. Anything to try and get her back to work.

"Can I ask you some questions?" Honoka slid her notebook to the side and leaned back into her chair.

"Will you get back to work if I answer them?"

"Yeah, but you have to answer all of them. Got it?" Honoka said with a wide smile. "No backing out if you get embarrassed."

Umi rolled her eyes and sighed. That wasn't a very good start to this whole thing, but Honoka was too far gone at this point to argue. "I'll be the judge of that. Ask your questions so you can get back to work. We've got tests coming up next week, and I don't want you falling behind and making an excuse like last time."

"I know. This will be quick, don't worry."

Honoka's bright smile didn't do too much to soothe any of the growing irritation worming its way into Umi's stomach. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared, urging Honoka to continue.

"It's kind of a hard question to ask." Honoka chuckled, her eyes wandering about the room as she scratched her cheek. "Do you know what it's like to be in love with someone."

Umi sputtered, eyes wide and cheeks flushed a very dark shade of red. "What kind of question is that Honoka! I absolutely refuse to answer that."

"Oh come on, Umi.," Honoka pleaded. "You said that you'd answer whatever my question was."

"That was before I knew that it was going to be something so embarrassing." Umi held her hands to her cheeks, doing her best to ignore the rapid beating of her heart. She wasn't sure that it was coming from the question, or the girl asking. She didn't want to be hearing any of this from Honoka of all people. Not when she was starting to understand her own feelings.

Honoka leaned in closer. "But you promised."

Umi pulled back, head turned to the side and nervous palms gripping at her skirt. "Why are you even asking me something like this. Wouldn't Kotori or Nozomi be better at this."

"But I wanted to ask you about it." Honoka continued staring.

Umi gnawed on her bottom lip. "You know how I get with stuff like this."

"I know," Honoka said. Umi glared, forcing Honoka to shirk back. "But I wanted to ask you about it. I thought you might know what it's like."

"What would I know about that." Umi's voice was mumbled. A few small beads of sweat formed on her forehead, forcing her to take some deep breaths. Her erratic heartbeat and deep breaths making it hard to focus on anything.

"You write all those love songs for us, and they're all so beautiful. So I thought that you might have some experience with this."

"I-I have no idea what you are talking about," Umi stammered. "And just what kind of experience would I have anyway?"

Honoka sighed, her shoulders going slack. "Oh come on, you don't have someone you think of when you write those lyrics?"

Umi's voice caught in her throat, the truth almost slipping out in a fit of embarrassment. She wasn't one for lying, but it wasn't like she could come out and tell Honoka. Not when Honoka was the one asking the questions. Especially not when it seemed so much like Honoka already had someone on her mind. Someone who Umi had decided long ago wasn't ever going to be her.

"I don't think of anyone, Honoka," Umi answered, the reality of the situation sobering her voice.

"Then where do all those pretty words come from?" Honoka asked. "Because I can feel all of your feelings in your lyrics, and they always sound so amazing every single time I hear them."

Umi could feel a restlessness in her stomach but would continue to lie all the same. "I read a lot of romance novels. So I guess it all comes from there. It most certainly does not come from 'experience'."

Honoka tapped at her chin seemingly deep in thought.

Umi found solace in the few moments of silence. She took a few deep breaths to steady her wildly thumping chest, and a quick wipe of her brow to stop the oncoming sweat before it could form, but she couldn't shake that nagging and uncomfortable feeling somewhere between her throat and the pit of her stomach. Just what was it that brought on such a strange few questions? Umi could think of a few answers. Though they weren't anything that would help in assuaging that oncoming strange and uncomfortable feeling.

"Can I ask you another question, Umi?" Honoka asked, breaking the silence.

Umi shook herself from her thoughts, turning and looking back to Honoka. "As long as you promise to get back to work after."

"I will." Honoka licked her lips and eyes searched about the room. "I know this might be a little weird to hear, but I think I might be in love with somebody."

"Oh."

It was the only response Umi could find, Honoka's statement taking her wholly off guard. She looked down at her knees, large blush taking over her cheeks. It was one that she wasn't sure was completely out of embarrassment. Her stomach knotted and her throat clenched. She balled her hands up at her side and tried to force her ever growing uncomfortable emotions down.

"T-That's not a question," Umi muttered, gaze still locked on her legs.

"Well, I know." Honoka scratched her cheek which had more color to it than usual. "I just wanted to know what it's like to be in love with somebody because I'm not sure. I know I like them and I want to kiss and stuff, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with them."

Another few deep breaths were all Umi could do to keep the stinging in her chest down to a bearable level. Explaining love to someone wasn't something Umi had ever seen herself doing. Honoka was close to everyone, why did it have to be her to explain. It was cruel, but Umi would do whatever she could to help, especially if that person was Honoka.

"I think if you love someone you always want to see them happy," Umi started, looking up to meet Honoka's full attention. "You want that person to smile and laugh, but you also want them to do their best all the time and achieve what you know is possible for them. Because they might not be able to see it in themselves, but you know how amazing that person is and you want them to see it too. You want to do all of that together with them."

"So," Honoka paused for a brief second "you really want that person to be happy, and you get happy when they're happy."

Umi stared down at the table, twiddling her fingers together. "Something like that, but that's just what I've read. I've never felt like that before." Another lie, but Honoka didn't need to know that. Even more so now that Umi was certain it wasn't reciprocated.

"So it is love," Honoka said, her voice quiet, as if only speaking to herself.

Umi didn't like that she was learning all of this. Honoka had someone to love. She knew that it was inevitable, that didn't make any easier to hear from the young woman herself.

"What do you think I should do?" Honoka asked, breaking out of her self-induced daze.

"Tell them." Umi's answer was curt, more emotion leaking out than was necessary.

"I don't know about all that." Honoka hunched over and rubbed her neck. "I doubt they would ever feel the same way."

The uncertainty from Honoka wasn't anything new for Umi. She had seen it before. You don't know Honoka since childhood and not catch the bits of self-loathing that could, at times, bubble to the surface with no one else around. That didn't mean it made Umi any less upset when it did come up.

"And how would you know that?" There was an edge to the words that Umi hadn't intended. A mixture of pain and longing she hadn't meant to come forward.

"I just kinda know," Honoka answered, leaning back with a sigh. "They're amazing. Like, they're smart, beautiful, always helping others, and they even put up with me all the time. They're a really really good friend. I know that they wouldn't like me like that. So I think I should just keep it to myself."

Umi mulled the words over, tossing them back and forth in her head. She could pin it down to Eli, not that she wanted to. Eli was an amazing and beautiful person who Umi knew cared for Honoka just as much as she did her. It wasn't fair, Umi thought. Why should she have to hear all this?

Tears forced their way into the corner of Umi's eyes, but she could blink them back. "And how would you know that person doesn't like you?"

"Sometimes you just know, I guess," Honoka responded with a shrug.

"That's not true!" Umi let her feelings get the most of her, hitting her fist against the table with a thud. "You are great, and you are amazing Honoka. I don't understand how you can't see that. I'm sure whoever this person is can see that, too. So don't you ever think you aren't good enough for someone because I know that is not true."

"Do you really think so?" Honoka asked, eyes wide and voice small. Umi only nodded, she couldn't trust anything more. "Then what do you think I should do?"

Umi clenched her fist harder and grit her teeth. It was her last hope at keeping back another sudden outburst of uncertain emotions. "I already told you. Just tell them."

"You think they would say yes?"

"I don't know what they will say. I'm not that person." That sentence stung more than Umi had anticipated. "But I know that if it's you, Honoka. As long as you are honest and straightforward, like you always are with everything else you've ever done, then things should work out fine."

Honoka tapped at her chin. "That does sound like a good idea."

There was a beat of silence, Umi couldn't handle the tension that it seemed only she felt. Images of Eli and Honoka walking together hand in hand barged their way into Umi's mind. Thoughts of Honoka smiling in a special way for someone that wasn't her were all she could think about. She didn't want to be around this anymore.

Umi lifted her bag up onto the table and stuffed her book into it without a second glance. She stood up from her seat, prepared to sling her bag over her shoulder and leave before her thoughts got any worse. Honoka didn't need to see any of that. The last thing Umi wanted was for Honoka to feel bad for any of this, it wasn't her fault. Not that the thought made it any easier to cope with.

"Wait, Umi!"

Umi felt a tight grip on her hand as she was going to head off. She looked to her side, Honoka stood up and latched onto her hand. "It's getting late. I should really get going." Umi brought her free hand to her face and tried to push back any tears.

"Can you look at me? I need to tell you something." Honoka said, her voice was lower than usual. The cheer still there, but mixed with something that gave it more meaning..

Umi lifted her free hand from her face and turned to face Honoka. She got caught up in Honoka's smile like she almost always did. But instead of the bright cheer that almost always came with it, there was a sense warmth that Umi had never seen before. It was inviting and new, something Umi wanted to see more of.

"It's best if we head home. Our parents might wonder where we are." Umi was doing everything she could to deflect. She wanted out of this.

Honoka's grip on Umi's hand continued to tighten. "This is important. Please let me say this."

As the grip grew tighter, Umi knew she couldn't resist any longer. She fought back any underlying emotions and looked into Honoka's eyes. Waiting for whatever would come next. She had long since resigned herself to all the sadness and disappointment that was to come.

"Umi," Honoka said, she was doing her best to keep her voice even and steady. She looked up into Umi's eyes. "I love you."

It took a moment for the words to register. Umi couldn't be sure that she heard that right, but Honoka still held her hand, and the large smile on Honoka's face only seemed to confirm it. This was all real, as much as Umi wanted to deny it.

Umi cried, she couldn't hold back the emotions anymore. "I can't believe this."

She was getting to see an affectionate look from Honoka that only she would ever be able to see. Nobody else would ever get to bask in Honoka's tender and loving smile that her blue eyes only accentuated even better. It was very selfish, Umi thought. To know and take pride in the fact that she would be the only one to ever see Honoka look so beautiful, but it didn't matter now.

Honoka stood up, face only a precious few inches from Umi's. "I didn't want to make you cry."

"Don't you ever do anything like that to me again." Umi returned a quick squeeze to Honoka's hand, her tears still streaking down her cheeks.

"What do you mean. Did you not like it?" Honoka's cheer dropped.

"No no, that's not it. That's not it at all." Umi was quick to placate, happy to see Honoka's smile back as soon as it went. "This whole time I thought you were talking about someone else. I was getting so upset because I didn't want to hear about you falling in love with someone else. I don't how I would ever deal with that."

"I'm so sorry Umi. I didn't mean to do that." Honoka wrapped Umi into a tight hug that lasted a few seconds before pulling back. "I never thought you would love me back."

"Well don't think like that because I do love you. I love you a lot, Honoka." The words tumbled out, surprising Umi with her own frankness. She could feel the color rushing back to her cheeks.

Honoka pulled Umi back into another tight hug, this time Umi hugging back with as much vigor as Honoka. It was a blissful experience, one that Umi felt put her own explanation of love a few moments earlier to shame. Feeling Honoka pressed up against her was a much better feeling than she ever thought she could feel, and Honoka pulling her in closer wasn't too bad either.


End file.
